The most useful questions concern training, experience with parent-child contact problems, clinical assessment, safety, participation, professional role, confidentiality, and review of progress.
Start with experience and fit
Ask what experience is relevant to the circumstances you are describing. Ask whether the provider accepts the age group, family arrangement, and any court involvement.
Request current professional information when appropriate. A polished website or a particular service label is not a substitute for understanding the clinician’s actual background and the work being proposed.
Experience that relates to your family
Ask about work with strained parent-child relationships, developmental needs, loyalty conflicts, and court involvement when relevant. Ask how the clinician approaches concerns about both alienating behavior and harmful experiences within a relationship.
Dr. Washam’s professional materials describe more than 55 court-related family matters since 2020. Parents may ask how his background relates to their circumstances and what he would need to assess before accepting treatment.
Ask how suitability is assessed
What information is needed before deciding? How are the child’s concerns considered? How are safety issues raised? What would make the requested service unsuitable?
These are appropriate questions for the beginning of a professional relationship. They are not requests for a diagnosis during a brief scheduling inquiry.
Who will participate, and what is needed before we begin?
Ask who would attend the first appointment, how a child or teenager would be involved, and what the clinician needs to know about current providers. Ask which documents and permissions are required, and how to send them securely.
An inquiry is not an accepted treatment engagement. Ask what must be established about consent, court orders, confidentiality, and participation before appointments can begin.
Are you providing treatment or an evaluation?
Ask who the client would be, what the clinician is being engaged to do, and what falls outside that role. Would the service focus on treatment, or answer an evaluative question?
Ask how any requested report or professional communication fits that role. Do not assume that a treatment engagement includes a custody recommendation.
What will be private, and who may receive information?
Ask how information from individual and joint meetings would be handled. Who may request records? What could be shared with another parent, an attorney, or another professional, and on what basis?
Ask the clinician to explain confidentiality limits to both adults and children in language they can understand. Clarify any anticipated reports or testimony before relying on assumptions about secrecy or disclosure.
How will safety concerns and my child’s experience be addressed?
Ask how you and your child can raise a concern, how the clinician would consider it, and what could lead to a different plan or referral. A child should have room to describe an experience without being expected to confirm an adult’s explanation.
Ask how the clinician considers more than one possible reason for lost contact. Listening carefully and taking safety seriously can coexist with withholding judgment until the relevant circumstances are understood.
How will we discuss goals and progress?
Ask what the initial goals would be, when they would be reviewed, and how family members can describe what is or is not helping. What would prompt a change in direction?
Ask how the proposed approach fits the circumstances, what its limitations are, and what alternatives might be considered. These questions are more useful than asking for a guaranteed outcome or a fixed date for renewed contact.
What are the financial arrangements?
Ask what appointments and other activities would be charged, whether an advance payment is needed, and how you would receive an explanation of charges. Request the practice’s written arrangements.
The practice is self-pay and accepts cash or check; it does not bill insurance. Ask about the applicable fee category, any retainer, and charges for work outside scheduled appointments.
Listen carefully to promises
Be cautious about relying on an assurance of reconciliation, changed custody, or a fixed timeline before the circumstances have been assessed. Ask what can reasonably be known now and what remains uncertain.
A useful initial discussion clarifies what is known, what remains uncertain, and whether a professional appointment can be scheduled. It should not be confused with a promise of reconciliation.
Sources & further reading
Dr. Charles W. Washam: Professional Statement of Qualifications and Methodology
AFCC: Guidelines for Court-Involved Therapy (2010)AFCC and NCJFCJ: Joint Statement on Parent-Child Contact Problems (2022)NASW: Code of Ethics, responsibilities to clients (consent, competence, roles and privacy)